all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
