About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
