Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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