I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Let's get the cat blown out
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
