People with herpes should wear stickers.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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