would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
