she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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