The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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