I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
