I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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