Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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