The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
my shit smells like andre
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
