Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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