I hate your face
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
