K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
jump out the window naked night went bad
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