So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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