If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
