I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
