Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
zippers are such a cool invention
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
