turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
