you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
