Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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