I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
