Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
