I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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