You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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