So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
