Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I pour the whiskey from now on
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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