He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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