so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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