maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
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