wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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