I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
