chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
