so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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