my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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