I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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