I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize