The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
