from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
