I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
