Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
