wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
