I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
