Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
there is glitter all over my balls
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