And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
