I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
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