My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
