dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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