Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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