I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
