i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
