so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
