She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
