took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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