Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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