Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
