how can u be prego again
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Randomize
