am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
