What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
