1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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