We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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