She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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