Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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