Pappa wants mamma naked
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
