If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize